Hanging on (Jessica Brodie Diaries #2) Read online

  We lumbered up the porch steps, staring cockeyed at the rocking chairs, which were a bit lopsided and odd-looking.

  “Adam made those,” William remarked.

  “Shut up!” I said loudly, looking closer.

  If they were in a store, you’d wonder if the manufacturer was smoking crack when he made them. They kind of leaning to the side with some pieces that didn’t quite fit with others. I wondered if it’d break when I sat down. But if Adam made them, who wasn’t a freaking wood-worker with a bunch of machines, then they were awesome.

  Still, I’d hesitate to sit. They did not look sturdy.

  As I turned my eyes back to the door, intending to knock, Adam swung it open with a, “Hey. Nearly ready.”

  He gestured us in, but the movement only emphasized what had my eyes guiltily mesmerized. The guy was shirtless, and had a body extremely similar to William’s.

  I mean, yes, I knew he had the broad shoulders. You could see that through his shirts. But his shirts were generally loose. There was a hint of peck, and an occasional peek-a-boo of defined bicep, but I’d never seen it all put together.

  His torso, rippled with defined muscle, was tanned. He had dark, curly chest hair and a small, nasty looking scar on the right side of his stomach. His abs were a cut six-pack with a happy trail of dark hair leading down into his fun zone.

  It wasn’t that seeing a muscled guy was strange to me. Aside from William, I’d seen a million nice upper bodies at the gym, in ads, and all over TV. In L.A., where everyone wanted to be an actor or model, it was almost a norm.

  But it was Adam! A sexual type flush was way wrong. And gross! He was a brother to me. He was a caretaker. He shouldn’t have surprised me with muscles! It didn’t give my logical brain time to realize it wasn’t a big deal!

  I yanked my eyes away, desperate to look anywhere but at his bare chest. I heard a “Holy fuck!” behind me. Lump had been caught off guard, too. She probably also had the same thoughts. Not about the guilt, but she didn’t want to see this guy as a sex-symbol, either. She’d categorized him as scary, and therefore, off-limits. Her head was probably going pear-shaped. Together we'd be a fruit bowl.

  She didn’t have her boyfriend following her up the steps, though! I definitely won the this is totally awkward contest!

  “Hey Adam,” I remarked nonchalantly, lifting my foot up the last step as my eyes swung off to the left. I wasn’t sure where to look other than needing to look elsewhere.

  “Hi Jess—“

  It was then that my brain, not closely monitoring anything but my eyes and thoughts, forgot to tell my foot to keep stepping up. As such, I caught the step with my toe and lost my balance, tipping forward. Being that I still would not look at Adam’s chest and abs, and definitely did not want to touch said chest and abs, I started flailing, determined to fall on my face in order to keep things PG-13. But Adam was too nice, and too quick, to let that happen, damn him.

  He easily grabbed my shoulders and half lifted me up the step, which probably would have worked out well, if not for Lump falling into me. Her full weight hit my back, pushing me forward—into Adam’s bare skin.

  “Oh no!” I cried, trying to pull my hands away from flesh as if it burned.

  I struggled out of his hands, trying to angle my body to the side so I could fall in peace. He wouldn’t freaking let go, though, now also trying to right Lump. I kept flailing, pushing off then getting freaked out and recoiling, trying to fall but held up by one strong arm. Seeing that strong arm taxed, so similar to William’s, made my brain buzz in white noise, desperate to block out all semblance of Sexy-Man thoughts, and I pushed harder, then recoiled again.

  “Willie, quit touching me!” Lump yelled.

  Sounded like she’d just joined the awkward club. Falling into a hot man in front of a boyfriend wasn’t great, but having your friend’s boyfriend grabbing you while thinking of muscles and bare chest wasn’t great, either. We both struggled to the side now, trying to get away, until finally both boys, in sheer confusion, lost hold and let us tumble to the wooden porch in a mess of arms and legs.

  “Christ, you guys, how are you not used to a clumsy girl? Jessica must have shown you the ropes by now!” Lump said in exasperation.

  “They always catch me,” I expressed, out of breath.

  “No touching,” Lump stated, also out of breath.

  “What the hell is wrong with y’all?” Adam exclaimed, stopping, half-bent, at Lump’s comment. “Ain’t you never walked up steps?”

  “Just…go get a shirt,” Lump scolded, getting off me and helping me up, throwing a finger out to stop William from stepping closer.

  “And I do not care for your slang!” I yelled after him. Lump chuckled.

  “You girls have lost it,” William said with sparkling eyes.

  “I know you are but what am I,” I replied, not caring that it didn’t fit.

  Adam’s house had a few things similar to Williams; weird paintings, a leather sofa and a bachelor feel. That was where the similarities ended. As opposed to William’s over decorated interior, Adam’s was bare. There was a beer sign or two, and a rug over the hard wood floor, but that was about it. It was to the point where he didn’t even know to buy a lamp to solve the lack of light problem. The guy was definitely a boy, and his place proved it! It was a shame, too, because the house had such potential; high vaulted ceilings, glossy hard wood, decorative trimming on the doors and windows.

  “Why doesn’t he decorate?” Lump asked, having the same thoughts as I did.

  “He has a penis,” William supplied.

  “I’ve been to your house, Willie—are you saying you don’t?”

  “I hired someone.”

  “Okay, if I must pull each sentence out of you one at a time, why hasn’t he hired someone?”

  “His mother doesn’t live within twenty miles to constantly tsk at his lack of decoration.”

  “She must tsk at the decoration you’ve chosen, though,” I said, sitting on the couch.

  “Yeah, that weird goat statue, especially. Your taste is worse than a blind lady,” Lump sat next to me with a smile.

  Where I rarely picked on William, opting to annoy his friends instead since they were more fun, Lump picked up the slack. Only fair—all the guys thought so.

  “No pleasing women.” William smiled in exasperation, standing by the large mantle above the fireplace.

  “Amen,” Adam affirmed walking in—thankfully with a shirt.

  “Adam, doesn’t your girlfriend give you shit about your…decor?” I asked.

  He sat down on his leather recliner to put on his worn-in cowboy boots. “She won’t stay here. Says I need to do something with it.”

  “So why don’t you?”

  “Got too many rooms. Just seems like too much work, and I’d rather put the effort into the ranch.”

  “Why did you buy such a big house just for yourself, then?” Lump asked.

  “What is this, an interrogation? Ain’t always just gonna be me, is it? Don’t want to buy a house now then have to sell and buy another when the Mrs. moves in.”

  “What Mrs?” I asked, leaning forward.

  “Jessie, now don’t you start.”

  “Future wife, Jessica, not current,” William clarified, enjoying Adam’s discomfort.

  Adam walked out of the room, shaking his head.

  “Where’s the el bano?” Lump asked.

  “Down the hall, to the left,” William answered.

  After a pause, when the others were out of the room, William asked, “Like what you saw, then?”

  I looked at him in surprise. He’d noticed.

  Shit.

  Instead going the route of denial—William knew me too well for that—I chose to be honest. "Muscles. Girls like muscles. Just like boys like boobs. If Lump answered the door without a shirt, and you weren't expecting it, you would react the same way."

  William nodded slowly, not taking his eyes off me. Caution was prevalent in his e
yes. "And if you were expecting it?"

  "I would look serendipitously when you weren't aware.”

  Anger flashed across his face, then understanding. He blushed.

  "Exactly. Just like men do when they don't think their girlfriends notice... I must say, though, you are more discreet than most."

  He sighed and walked over to sit down next to me, caution replaced by an apologetic grin that had me chuckling. "I shouldn't be looking at all. And I don't try to! It's just that sometimes my eye is drawn before I know I am looking."

  "William, men aren't the only ones that like eye candy. I look, too. I shouldn't either. But as long as there is no looking at friends, and certainly no touching, such is life."

  "Is that what you were doing when he was trying to help you? I was wondering why you kept flinching away from him!"

  I laughed. "Felt wrong—like you but not like you. And it is Adam for Christ's sake! He is A-sexual as far as I am concerned. Yuck!"

  Lump walked in, her face troubled.

  "What's up?" I asked.

  She shook her head as Adam walked in. "Oh, nothing. Phil wants to meet up with me tonight about something."

  "Oh? Is it serious?"

  She just shrugged me off, following silently when Adam led the way to the door. Once there he opened it and waited patiently.

  “Go ahead, you know where you’re going.” Lump gestured him on.

  “Same place you—outside. Go on,” Adam said with his hand on the door.

  “Um… okay.”

  “Ladies don’t say ‘um’,” I remarked, mimicking Gladis as I followed her out.

  “Gladis is a little old fashioned.” Lump sighed.

  “I’m telling her you said that!”

  “Please don’t. She threw a garden shovel at me the other day when I tried to give her some money. The thing almost hit me and you know what her response was?”

  “What?”

  “I’ll get ya one of these days!”

  Adam and William chuckled. I didn’t. Gladis wasn’t kidding. Her goal was seriously to hit one of us with a hard object. She was just waiting until we weren’t paying attention!

  “Willie, you can get doors,” Adam said, crossing the driveway to the Mercedes.

  A put-upon expression crossed Lump's face. "Adam, can we take the truck? I am sick of money and luxury and all these shenanigans. It'd be nice to have some normal once in a while."

  “Said the girl with the million dollar house.” I grinned.

  Lump turned around with a dangerous look. “Jessica, I will go through your boyfriend and bitch slap you if you keep it up.”

  “No need to go through me, she has it coming,” William said with a smile. He got a kick out of Lump threatening me, it seemed.

  We all noticed that Adam was staring at Lump as if she were a stranger. In response, her eyes widened slightly by his focus, but the moment passed immediately as Adam went back to his keychain and headed toward the truck.

  We arrived at the diamond wholesaler—William’s connection—before Candace so Lump and I dashed to different counters. Lump went for necklaces, I headed to the earring section. All the sparkles and glitter and whoop-la made me happy inside. Jewelry, shoes and handbags—the big three.

  Well, what I really needed was a car of my own, actually, but jewelry was so much more fun!

  "Jess, come check this out!" Lump yelled from across the room.

  A woman had just come to help me so I gave her an apologetic smile as I turned and hurried to Lump. She was holding a sparkly diamond necklace. It was elegant and classy without shoving the worth in your face. She knew her tastes.

  Lump pulled her hair back and I put it around her neck.

  "Ohhhh, Betz, that is pretty!" I said, not realizing until after that I used her new nickname. Adam and William strolled closer to see what we were looking at.

  William slid his arm around my waste and nodded in agreement. "It suits you."

  Lump smiled in elation as she fake modeled it for us all. She admired herself in the mirror. "It is so sparkly! I look like a model."

  "Are you going to giggle next?" I asked sarcastically.

  "You're just jealous because suddenly I am the prettiest girl in here."

  "Fat chance, loser," I spat back, eyeing what I could put on to look better.

  Candace came in at that moment and exclaimed how pretty Lump looked. Lump gave me a triumphant smile. She lit up the room. It made me realize how sad she had been lately. I had to remember to ask her about it.

  Adam cleared his throat. When I looked at him in question he was looking out the door rubbing his neck. William was looking at him askew, too. Apparently Adam wasn't a big fan of watching girls play dress-up. But then, which boys were? He needed to work on his patience, though.

  Lump regretfully gave back the necklace with a pout that nearly broke my heart. I could tell she looked at the price tag and realized how long it would take her to save up for it. Too long. She had found a job but it didn't pay her much. She was continuing to look, but people weren't hiring this close to Christmas. William offered to find her something but she declined. She was a person that didn't take help well.

  Candace, full of excitement, lead us to the rings. We started talking about sizes, cuts, prices and budget. Candace was immediately overwhelmed and asked what we thought. It was William that stepped in.

  "Why don't you girls take it in steps? First, maybe pick out the cut," He helped, being an excellent, and apparently experienced, ring leader. Ha! Pun intended.

  "Okay," Candace said smiling. "Um... I kind of like the round one. What do you girls think?"

  "Round is nice." I nodded, looking everything over. "It's standard. It gives you more bang for your buck."

  Candace blinked at me.

  "Meaning, it looks bigger than other cuts. It is more brilliant to the eye—refracts light better, you know?"

  "A girl who knows her diamonds," the saleslady said with a smile and a wink at William.

  "I have been ring shopping before—I mean, not for me--" I said hastily, "—but I have gone a few times with friends because I love to look. Anyway..."

  "Well..." Candace was still just looking at the myriad of options. "Which do you like? The round?"

  "I actually like the Princess cut the best. I just like the look. But you have to have a good sized diamond to make it worthwhile, and who has the money?" Oh wait. I turned to the boys. "This isn't a conversation for the limitless, okay? So pay no attention. And don't get any ideas." I pointed at William.

  Candace was still confused. I persuaded her to start trying some on. She ended up liking the pear shaped diamond. She chose a plain band of gold, fairly thick. Then we needed to start talking caret, color, and clarity. This was when the budget came into effect.

  Candace had a guesstimate from something she overheard him say to his mother. I walked her through picking what was more important: size, color or clarity. Size wasn't too important to her, and she didn't know the difference in clarity, so she got about the best color she could, and used most of the rest of the budget on size. It had flaws, but none that someone admiring it would notice.

  The boys, who were long since bored with us, were lounging by the door, watching the people walk by and talking about their ranches. I overheard that William had his eye on a type of bull he wanted to introduce into his current blood lines, but the guy wouldn't sell to him because he was a Davies. Apparently not everyone loved his family.

  Which was good for me. Possible Christmas present!

  When Candace was set, I had the boys come back over and went over the specs of her choices, noting that should more money be thrown in, which aspects she would like to improve. I then gave them each a direct stare and said, “You guys need to steer Ty. Don’t tell him Candace has been in, but tell him you overheard her. Or better yet, that Lump and I dragged her around by the ear when we were shopping. Steer, got it?”

  “Yes, darling,” William said with a placating smile.<
br />
  Adam was looking at me, but obviously thinking about something else. I knew a bored look a mile away! I shoved my finger closer to his face and his eyes refocused.

  “Jessie, get—Willie’s gonna deal with it. I’ll just be around for shits and giggles.”

  “Still.”

  I got an eye roll from Adam and a pat on the butt from William.

  As the sales woman was putting things away, she noticed me looking and asked if I wanted to try anything on.

  I turned to Lump, “Shall we? I bet I could out-princess you on rings!”

  Lump responded to the challenge more than the content of the challenge, and looked for her perfect ring.

  My ring was done first. It was a little over two caret Princess cut stone with excellent color and clarity. The ratio of the cut threw light all around it, making the bling factor large and in charge. It was delicately balanced on a lithe band. This was offset by an eternity band that sparkled all around the finger. I instantly fell in love with it. It was gorgeous. The diamond itself was pure quality. The whole thing suited my hand and finger perfectly. I had never dreamed of the perfect wedding, but had always dreamed of the perfect ring. Marriages lasted in photo albums, rings lasted with you at all times, every day. The romantic teamed with material goods.

  I waited impatiently for Lump to finish hers. When she did I saw that she had a significantly smaller diamond that was a radiant cut on a more artistic rather than classic band. Her setting kept the ring low on the finger, but the diamond still threw light around the room. It was unique and elegant and managed, like the necklace she picked, to perfectly capture her personality. She looked at it longingly, exactly the same as I was looking at mine.

  “Imagine, some guy liking us enough to pledge his life to us.” Lump laughed sadly.

  I agreed. It was a tall order. Especially for assholes like Lump and I.

  "Lump, we're getting soft. Let's put these things back and go start a bar fight!" I said loudly. The boys huffed and the sales people laughed.

  "I think they are both beautiful," Candcae admired. "I might pick Jessica's, but Lump's looks really good with her personality."