Hanging on (Jessica Brodie Diaries #2) Read online

  HANGING ON

  (Jessica Brodie Diaries: Book 2)

  by K.F. Breene

  Website: http://kfbreene.com/

  Twitter: @KFBreene

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  Hanging On

  Jessica Brodie diaries

  Copyright © 2013 by K.F. Breene

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  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.

  Some adult content.

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  OTHER TITLES BY K.F. BREENE

  JESSICA BRODIE DIARIES

  Back in the Saddle, Book 1

  A Wild Ride, Book 3

  DANIELS’S MANSION SERIES

  Daniels’s Mansion: The New Maid-free

  Daniels’s Mansion: The Cook’s Delight

  Daniels’s Mansion: The Girls’ Night In

  SCHOOL’S OUT COLLECTION

  Teaching the Professor-free

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  HANGING ON

  Chapter One

  I sat in the car with William, the guy I had lusted over for months. The same guy I thought couldn’t care less about me. He had it all, including a packed schedule that didn’t accommodate dating. And he was fitting me in. It was a dream come true.

  Hopefully.

  We were in his car, after just having reconciled months' worth of me thinking he was too good, that he didn’t like me, that he thought I was subpar... It took a lengthy explanation from him to know that was false.

  And now onto happily ever after. Except not, since his mother would greatly disapprove. Which was a problem for tomorrow. For right now, we were in bliss. Together. And that’s all that mattered.

  “Did you want to go to the bull riding practice with me?” William asked, completely nonchalant. “Or would you like me to drop you at home and meet me later?”

  I soared hearing him make plans in such a nonchalant way.

  “I would love to change my clothes,” I answered, also trying for nonchalant.

  “No time. You are fine the way you are. You’re coming then?”

  “Guess so. Dirty and haggard.”

  After the previous night, when I had finally given up on the dream that was William, I'd spent the day working out, crying, and not giving a crap. My appearance was proof.

  He reached his hand over and put it on my knee. "My kinda girl."

  My skin got hot and my groin started throbbing. Did I mention we hadn't had sex yet? I didn't know what was worse, the desire, or the anticipation.

  I put my hand over his and he turned his palm-up to hold mine. Very school girl, but I delighted in the contact. I still couldn’t believe he wanted me! With my dating history, a good guy thinking I was cool enough to hang out with was noteworthy. One that thought I was date worthy—I was flying!

  We reached his ranch for bull riding practice, which was as crazy as it sounded. Riders came to ride bulls to get better at it, so they could enter rodeos and win some bucks. Since William had a breeding project, entering the best of his stock into the rodeos, having guys ride the animals was as good for him as it was for those getting the practice. Win-win.

  William opened the garage of the ranch house from the car and drove in. It was a three car garage with a giant truck, an ATV, and a couple motorcycles. We got out of the car and he opened the door in the truck for me.

  “Is there a reason this truck is so high?”

  “You would have to ask my brother that one. He picked it and had it raised.”

  Not bothering to comment, because why would I, we were out of the one-story ranch house and driving through flat farm lands. Coming from L.A., and only in Texas for about six months, I wasn’t used to everything being so…well, flat. There was no other way to describe it. The sky seemed to hover right above my head, the clouds pressing down on me. It was awesome and weird at the same time.

  We came upon an area with a few tress and more trucks.

  “Here we go.” William’s voice sounded excited. Like it was show and tell, and he was worried about this week’s item.

  Through the trees was a circling of horizontal metal poles encasing a bare dirt arena. In back was a pen holding large, still animals. Bulls, one and all. Scary looking bulls to boot, with angry eyes and large balls.

  So no, the balls didn’t have much to do with anything, other than they were freaking huge, and I couldn’t stop looking at them.

  William headed right for his right hand man, and my first genuine guy friend in this state, or really anywhere, Adam. I loved the guy like a brother. He looked out for me, he joked with me, and he gave me Wet Willies. I could have done without the latter, but since I tended to give him titty-twisters and Charlie Horses, I’d handle it.

  I sounded sixteen, but really I was twenty-five, almost twenty-six.

  “What’s the story, boys?” William asked, sounding more chipper than I had ever heard.

  Adam must have thought so, too, because he titled his head, a smile soaking into his face like lotion. “Well, sir, we was just gettin’ goin’. The first bull is in the hold waitin’ for one of them young fellers over there.” Adam pointed to three small cowboys to the right. They couldn’t have been more than twelve.

  William followed Adam’s finger before asking, “Who’s clowning?”

  “You,” Ty said, the professional bull-rider among this group. “You riding tonight?”

  “Yeah. You?”

  “Of course.”

  “Adam?”

  “O’course.”

  “Then let’s get going.” William turned his whole body too me, happier than I had ever seen him. “Just stay away from the fence and you’ll be fine. Did you want to go to the chute with the boys?”

  Adam and Ty, totally oblivious males, followed William’s words and found me. Ty’s face lit up in a smile. Adam was all business, so gave a quick nod hello.

  “Sure, I guess,” I responded. I'd been to a rodeo before, so I knew it was dangerous, but this was my first practice situation.

  “Jessica, nice of you to join us this evening,” Ty said with humor. “Thought maybe I smelled because of how fast you took off last night.”

  He was referring to my painful fleeing when William showed up at the bar. I’d been so hurt by the events I basically sprinted out of there.

  “Yeah, you were right—it was you,” I said in a bored, dead pan voice. “Had I known you’d be here I wouldn’t have come.”

  “Nice to see you dressed for the occasion,” Adam commented with a wink before he followed William toward the chute.

  “Dude, I was straight from working out! How was I supposed to know he would accost me at the hospital!” I said overly loud.

  “She said dude!” One of the miniature cowboys giggled as we passed.

  “Ty, you sound like an old witch with that cackle,” I muttered darkly.

  “Dude, leave me alone,” Ty spat, then resumed his hysteria.

  After a few of the young boys had ridden, William made his way over to me. I could feel the anticipation mounting as I watched the play of his muscles and the power of his stride. I wanted to see more, only with fewer clothes.

  He must have had an idea what I was thinking because he had a half smile on his face, his gaze never faltering.

  He leaned against the fence opposite me, still on the inside of the arena. “Hi gorgeous. Are you bored?"

  “Hey. No, not at all. Just taking it all in. It’s nice that it isn’t such a blood sport here like the real rodeo.” I moved closer to the fence, craving contact.

  He reached through
the bars and trailed his course thumb down my cheek. The contact left a trail of heat on my skin. His eyes held a promise and his lips curved up into a sultry smile. “I really did try to steer clear of you, you know. But you kept pulling me back in. Like gravity. Now I’m caught."

  I leaned closer, his musty scent filling my world. I reached through the bars and put my hands on the sides of his rock hard stomach. Heat filled my nethers at the same time as I shivered.

  “Lord woman. You’ll be the death of me,” he said in a husky voice. He pulled my face toward his, our lips meeting solidly.

  While I was really into kissing him, I wasn’t really into the steel bars smashing up against my face. He must have had the same thought, because backed off.

  “That was a bit awkward,” I said, making light of it.

  His eyes were on fire through the bars. It was like they reached in and grabbed my soul, clutching me, body and spirit, and sucking me in. I was hooked. Long since hooked. I never wanted him to let go.

  I slid my hand up his chest and quietly exhaled, a slight moan tucked into my breath.

  “I’m happy that you’re all happy and all the rest, but can we get back to it?” Adam said in an elevated voice.

  William slid his thumb across my face lightly, a small smile playing across his face, before he backed away and faced Adam. “You sure can kill a mood.”

  Adam flinched when William lightly punched his arm as he walked by, then shook his head, watching William walk toward the chute where a mini cowboy was gingerly sitting onto a patient bull.

  “Never seen nothin’ like it,” Adam murmured, for my ears alone. “It’ll take a strong woman to tame that man. But you got a good start on it.” He laughed and ruffled my hair through the bars. He walked away chuckling to himself and shaking his head.

  Men were so freaking weird!

  I watched while the younger guys got on tame bulls and hopped around the enclosure. It seemed that tonight was armature night. On purpose. It wasn’t until all the really young kids had gone that the older guys—Ty, Adam and William—got to play. It was a different night in the week that the more experienced riders would try their hand with William’s harder stock.

  “So, Jess, one-hundred and eighty, huh?” Ty asked while leaning against the gate on the inside of the oval arena.

  “I don’t skateboard. Or snowboard, for that matter.”

  Ty looked at me cross-wise, meaning he had no idea what I was talking about.

  “What?” I clarified.

  “My boy Willie. He wants you, he doesn’t want you—how’d you get him to come around?”

  “Dressing like a homeless person and hanging around the hospital. No big deal.”

  Ty let out a bark of laughter. “Well, he hasn’t poked his head out of his shell for a great many years. Then all of a sudden, there is this chick that’s hanging around, supposed to be available, but if anyone even talks to her Willie shoots death threats with the ol’ peepers. What’s up?”

  My stomach was surging at the words. My face was hopefully hiding it. I shrugged, super nonchalant. “I have great blackmail.”

  “That it? Well, put a reign to that boy, will you? His moods are awfully poopy sometimes.”

  “Did you say poopy?” I asked, chuckles bubbling up.

  Ty shrugged.

  “No, seriously Ty, did you use poopy as a description? Are you five?”

  “Candace would answer yes.” Ty laughed as he walked toward the fallen cowboy who quickly got up and started running for his life while the bull was jumping in the opposite direction.

  Next up, Ty. He was the professional rodeo guy. He made a stack of cash riding bulls. Which meant, quite simply, that he was really good.

  But William’s bulls, which William bred himself, were better.

  Ty rode a giant bastard of a bull, fell off in a heap, then limped to the gate.

  “Seven seconds, man,” William shouted. To qualify, a rider needed to stay on for eight. “Was he good, or you bad?”

  “Fuck you, Davies!” Ty shouted back, waiting for the bull to trot into the pen before he limped out of the arena.

  “So, good then.” William laughed to himself.

  Adam was next. He had the hand soaring, the posture right, and the body handling the bull with ease. When he got the same question, he said, “I lasted eight, could’ve lasted longer. Breed better, Davies.”

  “Why aren’t you professional?” I asked Adam when he perched near my neck of the gate.

  “Ah…” He took off his cowboy hat and scratched his head. “I ain’t cut out for this kinda thing. I got me a ranch ‘n a bunch of pursuits. This is a hobby. My money comes from hard work.”

  “And riding bull is…easy work?”

  Adam smiled and looked around for Ty. “Nah, it ain’t easy, but it’s only eight seconds, right? A real man can last longer than eight seconds.”

  “Oh my God!” I leaned back on the fence and laughed. “A sex joke? You are so going to hell! You should be waiting until you’re married!”

  “You make sexual jokes all the time!” Adam defended.

  “Yeah, but, I’m from California. It is well known—or so Juniper at work would have me believe—that God doesn’t listen to Californians. I’m in the clear. I’ll show up at His pearly gates and He’ll just wave me through because He doesn’t recognize me—I’m in the blind spot.”

  Adam shook his head and heaved with laughter. I’d heard from Candace and a few of the guys that Adam didn’t laugh often. He tried to set himself up as Mr. Serious. But obviously it was before he’d met someone as cracked as me. Now he laughed all the time, because if he didn’t make fun of me, I did him a service and made fun of myself.

  If he ever got to meet my friends, he’d pass out from asphyxiation from laughing so hard!

  William got on last.

  “Hey—“

  Adam glanced around, realized it was me that hissed, and took a few steps in my direction.

  “Yeah?”

  “So, why doesn’t William ride professionally? You all were pissed when I brought it up at the rodeo…”

  “First of all, it’s y’all, not you all…”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Second…” Adam looked back at the chute, a tiny enclosure within the gate that held the bull so a rider to get strapped to its back in almost safety. “His dad put the foot down. He’s good—better than me—but he’s big. The best guys are smallish, ya know? Like Ty. Small center of gravity. Willie’s six-two. He gots talent, but he ain’t got enough to make it too far. His dad reeled him in. Best thing for him, but he don’t like to hear it.”

  “Did you ever take an English class in your life?”

  Adam just laughed.

  “How’d I do?” William asked after his ride, bending over to put his hands on his knees to catch his breath.

  I clutched the bars, wanting to get closer. I’d been pining after the guy for months, so now, being actually allowed to touch him and unable made me slightly edgy. “Is this where you get all your muscle?”

  “This and other farm work. I do as much as I can. It’s good for the soul.”

  “Hmm.”

  He smiled a promise, knowing what I was thinking. “I need to get some water out of the truck. Be right back.”

  “Okay…” As I watched William bound away, Ty filled in the gap.

  “So…you wanna get on one?”

  “You mean, get on a massive bull that wants to stab me with his huge horns?”

  “No. I mean, do you want to get on a smallish steer that is indifferent because he got his balls cut off?”

  “Is it hard?”

  “Yes. But doable.”

  “Do many girls ride?”

  “Only a few dumb ones.”

  “Well, then. Sign me up. I’ll give it a go.”

  Ty smiled. “Excellent. Right this way m’lady. We have to get you up there before Willie finds out and flips.”

  He yelled to Adam what we planned to
do, and I saw Adam give the same mighty grin. They hustled me to the chute, put a not so flattering helmet on me, then a black vest, and pointed for me to climb up and get on the bull.

  About that point my teeth started chattering. What the hell was I doing? Even though this bull was supposed to be small and calmer, it was still a big animal. A strong animal. Weighing over five hundred pounds. Even if all it did was roll on me, it would still hurt.

  I climbed up with shaky arms, too stupid to back down now, with Adam and Ty on either side. Another couple guys saw what we were doing and came over to help.

  “This little lady fixin’ to ride?” one of the guys asked. He looked in his twenties.

  I nodded nervously, throwing a leg over the metal bar and looking down on a giant animal that did not want a person on its back.

  “This is fairly stupid,” I muttered.

  All the boys laughed and nodded at the same time, one of the guys leaning closer on the railing.

  “Right, okay Mr. Bull,” I said, gingerly sneaking a leg over its back but not actually touching it yet, “I’m just going to sit on your back. No big deal.”

  “He can’t understand ya, Jess.” The smile almost got in the way of Adam’s words.

  “Can’t understand you maybe.” I eased my butt lower until it was just touching the animals back. Then froze. Waiting.

  Ty was helplessly chuckling as he watched me, frozen, waiting for the world to spin. He said, “That’s why women rarely do this sport—they’re too thoughtful. They’re too methodical. They think about shit.”

  One of the guys nodded from his lean. “They talk themselves out of it before they even begin.”

  “Always knew they was smarter. Y’all don’t have to give Jessie a big head.” Adam reached over the metal bars of the chute and gently grabbed my left hand. “Just gonna tie ya in, Jess.”

  I had all my weight on the massive animal, shorter than a horse but broader. It’s back was somewhat rounded and very hard, a squat bundle of muscle. And I was allowing Adam to tie my hand, palm up, into a rope around it’s chest. I’d done some seriously stupid crap in my life, but this one had to take the cake.