Butterflies in Honey (Growing Pains #3) Read online

  Just think what they could’ve been if Sean had gone with them.

  “Where is dinner tonight?” Ben asked, cutting through Krista’s mental landmine.

  “I want to see Kate and Jasmine. So, if you all want to head my way?” Krista said.

  “We have dinner with John and friends.” Marcus turned to Krista as they rode the elevator down. “Your biggest fan, Monica, planned it.”

  Krista rolled her eyes at Marcus’s sarcasm. If anyone hated Krista more than Monica, the girl that thought she beat Krista out to get in Sean’s pants, she didn’t know them. Thinking on the dinner, Krista’s stomach erupted in nervous waves again. Would Sean bring a date? If so, who?

  They filed out of the elevator and Krista smelled that familiar smell—the sun heating up your skin as the ocean breeze rolled over you. Sean.

  He didn’t spare her a glance as she walked by, Marcus laying a hand on his shoulder as a means of saying goodbye; but the dang Circus were all talking baseball or something stupid with him, so that was the end of that.

  It was not so much interesting as horrifying how much her splintered heart hurt.

  “Krista,” Tory said as she got into the car. He got in behind her.

  “Hey Tory.”

  “So, as you are probably aware, it is unlikely we will be working with them.”

  “I figured.”

  “I am impressed with how you handled yourself. I feel slightly sorry for their presenters.”

  “Just doing my job.”

  “Doing it well, yes. You still work well with Mr. McAdams, even if in opposition.”

  “I give you leave to call him Sean,” Krista said with a laugh as she looked out the window. “Yes, I do, don’t I?”

  “Yes. What are you planning to wear tonight?”

  Krista was glad he changed the subject. “I have to buy something. I have a desire to look fabulous.”

  “Yes, of course. I wondered if you wanted to call Emily? She longs for any excuse to shop.”

  Krista laughed again and agreed. Emily, Tory’s wife, was always a good time.

  Chapter Three

  That night at dinner, Krista showed up with Marcus and Ben. Both were looking snazzy and conservative, as usual. Going out to top rate dinners was standard on these trips. In contrast, Krista was wearing a sleek, sexy number that was not standard for these trips. Curves and bust were on display in a fabulous deep red dress. Ben and Marcus both commented that she looked beautiful, but other than that, not a word was said about it. They weren’t dummies—they knew why she wanted to look good.

  The three made their way to the bar, like they had a million other times. These trips were starting to all blend into one similar memory. Except this time, Marcus knew nearly everyone there. At first he introduced everyone, but then he just started leaving Ben and Krista for longer periods as he caught up with old friends. That guy was nothing if not social.

  Krista stood at the bar waiting for her drink when she realized Ben was slowly melting away down the bar.

  “Krista.”

  Her stomach dropped out. She half turned to face Sean.

  “Hi Sean.” A million emotions were going through her, but she kept her face clear and her demeanor calm.

  “It’s been a long time.”

  “Yes.” She looked into his eyes. How could she forget that brilliant green? Those bottomless depths? How could the years have detracted from the memories of this handsome man? But here he was, looking dashing and in charge, more handsome than she could’ve ever remembered. Nothing else existed but him.

  “You look lovely. Would you care to sit down?” he asked politely.

  “Uh, sure. Yeah.” Her eloquence in two years hadn’t improved, it seemed. She still sounded like a moron college grad. So, that was irritating.

  He led her to a table out of the way. The whole side of the restaurant was designated for their use. Monica was a tramp, but she put on a good show.

  “I guess I owe you an apology of sorts,” Krista said once they were seated.

  Sean furrowed his brow. “For what?”

  “I hit your team kind of hard today.”

  Sean’s face lit up. “Yes, you did at that. I thought we were ready for the famous Krista Marshall. Is…is Marshall still your last name?”

  “No. Actually, now it’s Fields.” She hoped Sean would look disappointed, but instead he just listened calmly. “I changed it for identity purposes. So Jim couldn’t find me.”

  He nodded, understanding. “Turns out you were a bit tougher than I anticipated.”

  “Well, in fairness, I do know how your team works.”

  “I don’t have a team these days. I am a one man show. Well, Ray and I are a one man show.”

  “Speaking of, where was he today?”

  “He is the silent partner.”

  “I know, but usually he still goes to the meetings. Or not anymore?”

  “No, he does, mostly.”

  Krista waited for him to say more, but nothing more came.

  “So how are things going for you?” he asked, changing the subject.

  This was killing her. They were talking like old work associates. Not even lovers, and certainly not old friends. The hits just keep on coming.

  “Well, I travel a lot,” she said, having a sip of her wine to rid her face of the pain. “A real lot, actually. But I got a promotion, so that’s good. Doing my thing, as you saw today. I really like it. It’s a lot of stress, but I like it.”

  “Good. I’m glad to hear it. And how do you like L.A.?”

  “It’s…it’s okay. It’s, ah…” She got a sudden feeling of hopelessness. She wanted to tell him how lonely she was. That there was nothing for her there. She wanted to confide in him like she used to. It was all gone now, though. They were all but strangers. “I surf now. I don’t know if you heard.”

  He was looking at her intently, though distantly. “Really? How is the water?”

  “Oh it’s awesome! You should come down sometime and try it out!”

  “I’ve been.” His eyes sparkled when he saw her response to one of his favorite pastimes. “It is pretty great. But where is the fun? There aren’t even any sharks to dodge.”

  Krista chuckled, though she didn’t feel it. It was a clever detour around saying he didn’t want to visit.

  “What have you been up to?” she asked, trying to keep the conversation going. She didn’t remember it being so hard to talk to one another.

  “Work mostly. I work obscene hours.”

  “Yeah, I heard you made VP. Congratulations.”

  “Junior VP. Thank you. I’ve been in that position about a year now. My résumé has grown tenfold.”

  “Yeah, I’ve heard. That’s really great.”

  “Well, I should talk to some of your party. I know you won’t be taking the account, but I have to try anyway, right?”

  “Well, I don’t think any decisions are made quite yet…”

  Sean just smiled indulgently as he smoothly got up. He winked as he walked away. She watched him cross the floor and start talking to an attractive woman. It was salt she didn’t need. She finished her drink and went to the bar to get something stronger.

  The evening passed slowly. It felt like Sean was talking to the whole place but Krista. Ben was engaged with some other art geek, and Marcus didn’t have time to talk to everyone he knew, let alone waste time on someone he saw almost every day. What was worse was that Emily felt ill after they ate lunch and didn’t go to the dinner. Krista told her not to get the fish—did anyone ever listen to her??

  Krista had never felt so alone in all her life. If it wasn’t bad form, she would have left halfway through.

  It was nearing the end of the night. Krista was standing outside getting some air and counting down the seconds until she could go back to the hotel. Her drink was almost dry, but she didn’t dare go back into the bar to see Sean chatting up some woman or other. It was cold and she forgot to bring her jacket. Basically, things
were going from bad to tragic.

  At least she didn’t have to take the train. She remembered the hell that was San Francisco’s public transportation system.

  As Krista looked out over the city, she heard footsteps approaching. She looked over her shoulder, wondering if she would be mugged with the luck she was having, and saw Sean. He walked up next to her and stopped.

  “I’m sorry for earlier,” he said after a couple seconds. “I didn’t know how to act.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t know how to act around you anymore. It has been so long. You’ve changed so much.”

  “Have I? Maybe I’ve gotten too used to being tough,” she said lamely. She knew she had become quite the firm bitch at work, but she had also never been so popular.

  “I’m sorry—there I go again. I didn’t mean that negatively. You’ve grown. Not in stature…” Sean gave a frustrated sigh and fell silent.

  “You haven’t changed all that much. Well, besides being large and in charge. But you always had that, just not the clout to use it.” Krista expected Sean to laugh, but neither of them thought things were all that funny.

  “How are you really, Krissy?” he asked softly.

  Krista swallowed, tears coming to her eyes. “I always loved when you called me that.”

  “I know.”

  She sighed silently, then answered his question, “I’m lonely.”

  Sean turned to her in confusion. “But I thought you had someone?”

  “I guess.”

  When she didn’t elaborate, he asked, “How long have you been with him?”

  Krista was visibly uncomfortable talking about it. Chet was a different life. He existed in a different reality with a different Krista. Sean knew Krista Marshall. Chet knew Krista Fields. The two people had similarities, but were nowhere near the same. One had a past and a family and friends, and even a crazy ex-boyfriend. The other was just a name and a job.

  “I’ve been seeing him for a year now.” She hesitantly asked, “How about you?”

  Sean looked away from her. “Single.”

  Krista sighed. It was irrelevant to her life, but it was still good to hear. “Did…ah, weren’t you seeing someone?”

  Sean looked at her with a puzzled expression. “No. Not since... I haven’t had the time since you left.” He took a breath. “Am I still a part of the rumor mill?”

  “Well…not really. Um, Marcus had said that Judy said you were rumored to have someone regular. But I haven’t heard much about you or anything. I just wondered about it when I heard we were coming here. So I asked.”

  “You wondered?”

  “You know… Yeah.”

  They lapsed into silence again. People were leaving the dinner and getting into their cars. The party was breaking up. It was time to go. The whole night Krista had waited for the first available chance to leave, and now that it was at hand she wanted to do anything but. She was terrified of walking away and never seeing Sean again.

  “How long are you staying?” he asked.

  “In San Francisco?” He nodded. “A week. I want to visit with Kate and Jasmine. I thought I might get up the courage to surf Ocean Beach, as well.”

  “The sharks won’t get you. You have nothing to worry about.”

  “I wasn’t worried about the sharks. It’s the cold and the hippies that give me pause. I can’t figure out which is worse.” Krista hugged her arms to her chest. It was cold. She wasn’t used to it anymore.

  Sean laughed. “Equally as scary, yes. Definitely. The surf is supposed to be big tomorrow. Would you like my jacket?”

  It took Krista a minute to register the question. When she did she immediately bobbed her head and said, “Yes, please.” Having his jacket was a great way to stall.

  As she dove into his smell and his warmth, she hugged the jacket close and put herself out there. “Maybe, um, you could show me the ropes? I’m not used to the rip tides out this way…” Her voice sounded strange and far away, even to her.

  He looked at her. She turned and met his gaze. He was indecisive, Krista could tell that right away. But there was something else. Something she couldn’t identify. She fell into his eyes then, and was barely aware of her surroundings when he nodded. “You have to get a wetsuit.”

  “I’ve already got one.” Krista needed to tone down her excitement level. “I used the travel clerk. I told her a very important businessman surfed instead of golfed and I was the only one that could hang with him.”

  Sean chuckled, turning away. “I golf, too.”

  “Oh well, don’t tell Cindi. She’s liable to stop doing me favors.”

  Sean got serious again. “Okay. Best surf tomorrow is early. Say seven?”

  “Don’t try to pull the punches, McAdams. I’ll be at your house at six. I am well used to ungodly early hours these days.” She paused a minute, then decided she got what she wanted, and it was best to go before he changed his mind. “Thanks for the jacket. I need to head in. I’ll see you tomorrow?” She unhappily shrugged out of his jacket and handed it back. He didn’t put it on again, but folded it over his arm.

  “Sure,” he said, not looking at her. He didn’t sound thrilled.

  And guess what, Krista didn’t care. It was one more day with him. She’d take it however she could get it!

  ~*~*~*~

  Sean got home and headed for the couch immediately, beer in hand. He’d struck out with the account, but he’d known it would go that way. He’d basically struck out with Krista, as well. He couldn’t even talk to her. He couldn’t find a normal thing to say. She’d outgrown him in life. She was reaching for the stars and he was still trying to piece things together. Cassie had been right. He regretted letting her go. Now, as she was right in front of him but out of reach, he had to admit it.

  “What’s up big bro?” Cassie asked as she walked into the room, settling herself into the recliner and flicking on the TV.

  “I saw Krista today.”

  Cassie froze, half crouched, remote halfway to the coffee table. She looked at him slowly. “What was that?”

  “She was on the team that assessed our work. My work.”

  “How did it go?” Cassie sat down calmly, TV forgotten.

  “She trampled me. She saw through every cover up I tried to pull.”

  “I don’t care about that. Did she smile a lot? Did she make conversation? How did she seem? Did she fidget? Tell me the details.”

  “She seemed professional. She seemed like she had a high-powered job and a boyfriend.”

  “Boyfriend-schmoyfriend. Kate says she doesn’t talk about him all that much. When she was with you, she had to try not to talk about you.”

  “That was two years ago, Cassie. She’s been with her guy for a year. For half of that time. The honeymoon phase has worn off. There’s no use comparing. She wouldn’t have stayed with him for a year if she didn’t like him.”

  “Not always true. Sometimes it’s just easier to stay with someone than to find someone new. It doesn’t mean she isn’t holding out for something better if it came along and swept her off her feet. Like before.”

  “Cassie, she’s moved on. Let it go.”

  “Do you still have feelings for her?”

  “No, Cassie,” Sean said, his voice dripping sarcasm. “I suddenly decided I don’t like her, after pining for her for two years, because she did her job and called my bluff.”

  “Sean, stop being such a Nancy. You will be kind and charming and listen—girls love when guys listen—and-you-will-get-her-back! Do you hear me, Sean? You will get her back! She was the best thing for you. She made you happier than I have ever seen you in your life…ever. She was the only girlfriend I have ever liked. We were friends instantly. She was already family and I barely knew her. You were stupid to let her go, and now you have a chance to fix it. So fix it!”

  “Cassie, I love you; but butt out.”

  “Sean, I love you—sometimes—but get her back or I will make your
life a living hell. I will find a guy that treats me bad and—“

  Sean cut Cassie off with a look. She’d heard about Jim. She’d heard what he did to Krista in the space of thirty minutes in her room, and knew that it was nothing compared to what he had done to her in the past. Joking about guys like that was on the forbidden list.

  “Just FIX IT!” She yelled at him, flinging the remote.

  Cassie was athletic—she had good aim. Turned out that remotes, her aim, and her temper were a bad combo. Sean now had a bump on his head and a headache to match his heartache.

  Chapter Four

  Krista arrived at Sean’s house at about a quarter to six. She had trouble sleeping the night before, so she was up and out early. She took the long way to check out the city and reminisce, but there came a point where she was bursting with anticipation.

  She off-and-on felt bad about her excitement at seeing and hanging out with Sean. Chet was good to her. He trusted her. She doubted he would be happy to hear she spent time with her ex-boyfriend. Whom she still loved.

  At the same time, she would suffer the loss of Chet to see Sean again. It was a sad truth, but it was the truth none-the-less. It really raised the question of how attached she actually was to Chet.

  On the path to Sean’s front door, Krista noticed a for sale sign on his property. She hadn’t heard he was moving. He was probably going to a bigger house closer to work. Or maybe just a bigger house further down the beach. Still pondering, she knocked.

  The door swung open with a gust and there was Sean. He wore a pair of shorts. Nothing else. Krista swallowed and ripped her eyes away from his six pack. When she met his eyes, he seemed excited. She could relate—she always got this way before surfing. It was a rush to hit that big wave just right and claim it.

  “Hi,” she said, a little too breathily.

  “It’s not even six,” he said as he peered into her eyes, absorbedly.

  “Close enough. Why? You missing your beauty sleep?”