Hanging on (Jessica Brodie Diaries #2) Read online

  “Oh God, William, please!” I pleaded in a throaty voice dripping with need.

  “Hmm, there we are.” William was smiling again, moving just enough to allow his tip to barely graze my opening.

  “No, don’t—huuum, play. Oh, Wil—mmm. Please, just—!”

  His mouth came back to mine, needy and insistent. His body coated me, play forgotten, control ebbing. Our kissing was deep and sensual, sweet but wild. He rubbed his shaft up my sex, getting the lay of the land, before a small tweak in his positioning had him pushing up into me in one savory dive.

  I clutched onto his body, my world coalescing to his body; his hand on my back, pulling me close, his needy kiss, his girth inside me. Eyes closed, we paused, feeling. Holding each other, having just crossed a milestone.

  “Oh, Jessica.” He sighed into my ear, running his face along my cheek.

  I lightly slide my hands up his back, barely touching, squeezing my inner muscles, relishing in the sparks his size hit within. His lips skimmed my neck as he drew out slowly, sparks turning into bursts.

  My hands pressed harder, over his shoulders and up his neck, leaning forward to kiss as he worked back inside, filling me again, butting up against my ends.

  “You feel better than I could possibly imagine,” William murmured, ecstasy in his voice.

  I was incapable of speech, only able to feel him withdraw again, bursts becoming explosions going off in my groin and ricocheting around my body. This slow buildup was the stuff of legends, but I was strung out. Unraveling. Stretched so thin I felt like my body was splattered across the universe, just pieces of a being pushed past her tolerance of pleasure, now heading into pain. Pain so pure and intense it was as unendurable as it was bliss.

  Another plunge, slower, pushing past my brink, making me unable to comprehend the feeling coursing through my body. Eyes fluttering. Lungs no longer working. Paralysis gripping everything but my core.

  He kissed me again.

  And then I was screaming an orgasm I didn’t know was coming.

  “Good morning.”

  My eyes fluttered in the morning sun streaming through his windows. I stretched, much like a cat after a nap, and ignored him for a minute as my mind came awake. I turned my face an inch and met laughing blue eyes.

  “How did you sleep?” he asked, tracing a hand down my bare chest.

  “Great. And you?”

  “Like a log.”

  His hand brushed my trimmed triangle of public hair as his mouth bent to lightly suck my neck. Suddenly he stilled. “Oops.” He smiled, eyes trained on my neck. “I gave you a hickey last night.”

  I felt my neck, as if I could feel it, and laughed. “What are we, sixteen?”

  “I know, right? And it too hot for turtlenecks.”

  “Make-up.”

  “Sorry.” He kissed the offending spot, as if spit would wash it away. Since his fingers dipped lower, exploring, I didn’t mind in the least.

  “Shall we get up?” he asked lazily, his lips trailing down my neck and jumping to a nipple.

  I spread my legs instead of answering. It was all the invitation he needed. His large body moved over me gracefully, thrusting to the hilt, filling me in a whoosh, which was exactly what my breath did.

  His pace was hard and quick, probably ready upon waking. I kissed him hard, racing to the finish line, swinging my hips upward and squeezing down on his shaft, coating him in my wetness as a sparkler of pleasure twirled through my groin.

  “Can’t-last-long,” he panted, the room full of rhythmic wet smacks.

  “I’m gonna—“ And then I did, eyes rolling back in my head, my whole body going taught.

  He filled me a second later, shuttering and going limp.

  “Hmm, that was nice,” he said in a sedated voice before kissing me again and rolling off.

  I chuckled, not bothering to move. “It was nice, was it? Thank you for the admiring accolades. Though I can’t imagine it was much different from your usual Saturday morning.”

  “Funny,” he said dryly. “And completely wrong, thank you very much.”

  I scoffed, but was inwardly delighted. I had a fear that in the light of day, and after getting in my pants, the novelty would wear off. I said as much after we were up and dressed, me in my clothes from the day before, him in a trendy but casual sweater and jeans.

  He abruptly stopped putting on his shoes and looked at me with an angry glare.

  “Did you really think that?” he demanded.

  I hesitated with the mood shift. “Yes. Well, worried about it, more like.”

  He stood up and came to stand right in front of me. Just now, when he was wound like a spring and standing over me, I forgot how tall and muscular he really was. He was radiating power, showering me with it. It turned me on something fierce, though I doubt that was his intention.

  “Jessica. It took me months, months, of pining for you like a lovesick Shakespearian character before I got up the courage to say something. I am not sure how much experience you've had with men, but men don’t just talk about feelings and personal shit unless it is dire, or the trust is solid.”

  It was hard to listen with the pressure in my ears and sodden panties, but I was trying.

  “If I didn’t like you, I mean really like you, so much so that I couldn’t just move on to make life easier on myself, I wouldn’t have bared my soul to you yesterday. That took a lot of guts. Guts that I normally don’t possess. When you said you were leaving I was so afraid to lose you I could barely think.

  “Don’t you ever think all of that was to just get in your pants. You better wipe those thoughts from your head right quick, and focus on the larger problem, which is fitting you into my world so you aren’t ridiculed at social functions. It will be a constant struggle for a while. We are in this together, Jessica.” He was breathing deeply, his face red with passion, his hands balled into fists.

  I’m not sure who started it, but suddenly we were ripping the clothes off each other right where we stood. We didn’t bother moving across the room to the bed. He got my pants off, I his, and he pushed me up against the dresser, followed by a rough insertion.

  I clawed and bit and pulled his hair as we rocked and thrust into each other. Pictures and things were flying off the dresser but neither of us cared. The desperation to love and be loved spurred my need until it flowered and blossomed into something beyond words. I reached a climax higher and harder than I ever had in my life. And after last night, that was saying something.

  We came down from our fervor and melted onto the floor. He kissed me tenderly and cradled my head on his shoulder.

  “You showed me!” I said jokingly.

  I could hear his deep chuckle through his chest. “Was I too rough? I didn’t hurt you did I?”

  “Yes, but in a good way. Shakespeare would be hard pressed to describe how good that was.”

  He chuckled again. “Shower first? Or breakfast?”

  “I want to shower at home, actually. I am fussy about my hair and body products. And I really should wash my hair—it's manky.”

  “Manky?”

  “Nasty, gross. Irish word. I got it from my friend Claire.” I needed to email the girls, speaking off.

  “We’ll do breakfast first, then.”

  We walked into the hospital showered, elated and hand-in-hand. Part of me was so happy I couldn’t think straight. I wanted nothing else than to tuck myself into William’s body and laze the day away. If not that, then just touch him. Constantly.

  The other part of me still dreaded hospitals. My smile was half grimace as the sterilized smell assaulted me.

  As I entered Gladis’s room, my land lady that had broken her hip about a week ago, her face lit up. Upon seeing William close behind, a quick speculative look flashed before she quickly covered it up with southern hospitality.

  “Hello Willie. So good of you to come!” she exclaimed.

  “Ms. Peek. How are you this fine day?” There was a strange lilt to hi
s voice I hadn’t heard before. It vaguely matched Gladis’s accent. Affluent, if I had to guess. Southern affluent. They were from the same social circle, after all. Gladis had known William all his life. This was stage one of the battle zone within the money ring, no doubt. Luckily, Gladis was already on my side.

  “I am up to par, up to par. Happy to report a speedy recovery! I’ll be sprung from this cage tomorrow. I’ll have to stay to bed for a week or so, but it will pass by in a flash, just you wait!” She gave us a wink. She seemed as happy as we did.

  He shook his head and chuckled. He was about to say something more when Lady walked in.

  “Lady,” Gladis said more loudly than was necessary. “Just the person I wanted to see. Will you run down and get me a coffee and an orange juice from the kitchen? In fact, get everyone some coffee. Jessica, dear, will you help her carry it all?”

  “Of course,” I said.

  I threw William a smile as Lady hustled me out. Hassled me out, more like. The woman was pushy, no two ways about it!

  I got the strange feeling Gladis wanted a second alone with William to discuss his involvement with me. It was like a father polishing a shotgun while interrogating his daughter’s boyfriend on a first date. William was a big boy, he could handle himself.

  Lady stood solemn and quiet through the giant line. She thanked the staff with a curt nod. Then she led the way back with quick, decisive steps. She was tired of being in that hospital and it showed.

  It wasn’t until we were on our way back to the room that she said, “We will be having dinner tomorrow night to celebrate Gladis’s return to the house. The cook is making Gladis’s favorite dish and opening her favorite vintage. I would love it if you could come. Bring the man if you wish.”

  And just like that, Lady accepted William as one of our posse. Maybe not as flowery as some might, certainly not as blunt as others, but in Lady Speak it meant that she approved of him enough to invite him in our small group’s company, something she only did for those she considered close. Not a big deal, but it made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

  I was really turning into a sap.

  Using Lady Speak, I nodded. That was it. Anything else and she would clam up and get uncomfortable. Or tell me to shut it. Both had happened often enough that I should know!

  As we neared the room, voices floated into the hall. Gladis was saying, “I’ll take care of that end. I have a few old biddies that would love nothing better to do than sneak her in the back door, don’t you worry. You just keep your head about’cha ‘n keep a low profile until we work her in a little bit. No need to go fl—“

  Lady loudly scuffed her shoe and made a coughing noise at the same time. Closed mouthed to a fault. So irritating! Except with my own secrets, obviously.

  Without a hitch in stride, Gladis looped that conversation into one about horses. That old bird was quick on her feet. By the time we entered they were looking like two long-time family friends catching up on the ranch speak.

  William’s eyes found me as I walked in the door and stuck, a soft light making my stomach go to mush. He waited until I stopped next to him before running a hand down my back. We shared a quiet moment, eyes locked, before he turned back to Gladis and I gulped down my heart.

  “I am going to go have a look at Jessica’s car," he said. "I’ll see if I can’t patch it enough to get it out of here.”

  “William, really, you don’t have to worry about it.”

  “No, it’s fine.” He flashed me a smile that melted my opposition and set fire to my loins at the same time. A second later he was gone.

  Hunched, I turned to face the music.

  Sure enough, Gladis had an evil twinkle in her eye and a smile floating on mischief.

  “What?” I asked indignantly.

  “I have to hand it to you; I didn’t think he could be thawed. Not even by an attractive woman like yourself.”

  “Thawed?”

  “That young man is so wrapped up in business with his father, being the perfect son for his mother, and all his extra curricular’s, that he usually just waves away women. I would, too, if I had all that resting on my shoulders.”

  “Not completely waves them away…” I thought of Boobie McGee, a one-night stand he took home after the bar one night instead of me. That still galled--I didn't care if it was for the best or not!

  Gladis continued as if she hadn’t heard me. Or Lady’s scoff. “I wondered by some of the things you told me. I did wonder. I've known him since he was a boy. He wasn't acting the way he usually did since he was forced to grow up. But how could I know? How could I know that you would come along and defrost his ice cold determination?” Her face crackled in a smile of delight.

  “Gladis, didn’t you know? I am good!” We both giggled. Even Lady cracked a smile in the corner. It probably hurt her face.

  “Don’t think it will be a cake walk, deary. Oh no! You have to go into the snake pit, now. We have to get you ready to talk to people that have had money all their lives. They are not all as hip as me!”

  “Hip, Gladis? You aren’t so hip using words like that!”

  “Her hip is broken,” Lady supplied, tickled with her own joke.

  She was used to our blank stares, and didn’t bother looking up.

  A while later William came back in with a disheveled look. The weather was starting to cool off, but he looked flushed.

  “What’s the verdict, Doc?” I asked from the corner, a stack of cards in my hand.

  He shook his head, continuing to the bathroom to wash his greasy hands. Once that was accomplished, he gave me the news. “Well, I’ve got good news and bad. Which would you like to hear first?”

  “Bad news, please.”

  “It needs repairs to be drivable. Radiator, hoses, maybe other things, I’m not sure. If you get all these things it will probably only last another couple months, maybe half a year before something else breaks.”

  “I see. Good news?”

  “Two things. First, I was able to drive it to the street where it will be safe for a week, or until you decide what to do with it. Second, I can probably fix all of those things if you really want me to.”

  “Which means, you would really rather not but with a strong arm I could get ‘r done?”

  “Hit the nail on the head.”

  I sighed loudly. Fuck.

  I looked up at William, who was intently studying me. Gladis had a perfectly blank face, which was not characteristic of the usually lively older lady. Even Lady was glancing at me through her eyelashes.

  It was clear they all thought this was my crossroads. Either I patched it up, which meant I was probably still planning on jumping ship, heading back to LA or over to Australia like I had planned when I incredibly heartbroken--so, a day ago--or I thought more long term and found a solution to match. But a car payment was a commitment all in itself. One requiring money. That I didn’t have. Conundrum.

  So I shrugged. “I’ll need to think on it.”

  William seemed to wind up before my eyes, and Gladis stayed still as a stone. Not much I could do about it. They had cobs of money. Not like they had to worry about a car payment, rent, food, and a thousand other things all coming out of one measly paycheck. Even if those things were dirt cheap, school loans were kicking my ass. This sucked.

  I stood up. Time to get a move on. “Kay Gladis, I am going to head. Shall I stop in later tonight?”

  “Oh no honey. One of the kids said they were going to stop in. I want to look old and alone when they get here.”

  “Is this the first visit?” William asked.

  “A-yup,” she answered blandly. “And just the one, too. They all live under sixty miles away and they couldn’t be bothered to visit the woman that fed ‘em. Spoiled rotten!”

  William wisely kept his face neutral. I pretended like I didn’t hear the outburst.

  “Okay, well, I’ll see you gals for dinner tomorrow then,” I said lightly.

  Lady nodded and Gladis said good-by
e.

  When we got back into William’s car he was strangely quiet. I tried a few starts at conversation, but everything fell flat. We drove for about twenty minutes and finally ended up in a plaza of shops.

  When the car was in park, and usually when two people would normally exit the vehicle, William sat staring straight ahead. Unfortunately, I knew why. I thought it best to wait for the wave to crash over me instead of swimming out to meet it. The end result would be the same.

  “Are you leaving?” I asked in clipped tones.

  Usually I would say when you are, which was a literal reference to leaving the car. I wasn’t really in the mood to wave the red flag at the bull over this one, though. I played it safe.

  “William, I am still ass backwards with everything. You and me are so new. We don’t really even know each other yet. We could hate each other in a month. Then what? I would be back in the same situation I was for the last three months. I just don’t know. It’s a big risk.”

  “It’s a bigger reward. If we don’t work, so what? We don’t work.” He turned to face me. The pain and uncertainly in his eyes knotted my stomach. I had never known a guy to get so serious so fast. It was both exciting and terrifying. And I was both hopeful and jaded. I’d been hurt so many times, it was impossible to go into this with lamb eyes one day in.

  I shifted and straightened my pants, buying time. Finally I said, “William, to you it’s just a car. If we didn’t work, you’d take the loss and move on.”

  “I don’t understand. Why is that logic so unfathomable? I think we have a real shot. I don’t know you that well, technically, but I feel like I do. I feel like you’ve been the only one to really grab me, ever. And that must stand for something. I would almost say love at first sight.” He suddenly turned bright red. “Well, I mean, you know, I felt really strongly about you even in those first moments, and it has only gotten worse. Better, I mean. Stronger.”

  “Then there is your mom,” I tempered, shifting the conversation away from the embarrassing truth, which was my empty wallet. “I am not a part of your world. Gladis might think she can work that out somehow, but I am not from money. I won’t fit, and you will eventually feel resentment.”