Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2) Read online

  “Sean.” She sighed his name. In heaven.

  He responded eagerly, his hands sliding across her back and pushing his body against hers as his tongue probed and flickered into her mouth. Her groin tightened in response and her body lit up in such an intense fire it took her breath away.

  She slid her hands under his shirt and felt his smooth, rippled skin. She was beyond reason and sanity. She found one of his nipples and pinched it between her fingers. She heard a growl in response as his tongue took up the rhythm of probing and retreating; sex in her mouth.

  As she reached around his body with the intent of lowering herself and bringing him on top of her, she heard loud voices and footsteps.

  “Krista--oh!”

  Sean broke away, but not far away. Seeing that she didn’t flinch back, he let his presence linger.

  Smoothing her clothes, Krista stood up, Sean following her gracefully. Abbey was standing with some red headed character wearing a smirk. They both looked like they were entering a gothic cult of some kind. Being that Krista had never seen this guy before, she gave it half an hour before the loud sex screeching would start.

  “Hey Abbey, this is Sean.”

  “Sean, huh? Nice to meet you.” Abbey eyed him with interest for a second before deciding he wasn’t her taste. He wasn’t wearing enough black, probably.

  Being that Abbey didn’t intend to introduce her date—she never did—Krista grabbed Sean’s large hand and pretended not to notice when he flinched. She led him down the hall to her room with passing comments to Abbey about having a good night. Krista figured sex with Sean was out, based on how he’d been acting in front of people, but she didn’t want to say goodbye in front of an audience.

  Once in her room she closed the door and noticed him looking around with interest.

  “Sean, um...” she didn’t actually know what to say.

  She sat on her bed with a plop, hoping he’d follow suit.

  He didn’t. Instead he turned towards her from across the room.

  “I should probably go,” he said evenly.

  Krista nodded, careful to keep the tears from her eyes. She had been through a lot of memories in the last two days, and she still had a lot of alcohol swimming around in her veins, so the best thing to do was keep a lid on things and sleep it off. She didn’t want Sean knowing any more than he already did. Or witnessing any more pity parties.

  Sean hesitantly took a couple steps toward Krista, reached down to squeeze her shoulder, looked at her for a beat, and then quietly left.

  Krista sat on the bed for a minute, going over the end of the day. She had poured out all her embarrassing past horrors to Sean, kissed him, and watched him sprint for the door at the first available opportunity.

  The good news was that by leaving, he separated himself from Jim. Jim would have preyed on her vulnerability, first to guarantee an in to her bed, and then because he liked it. He liked when she cried. He liked feeling that mastery over her; the proof of her weakness. He liked to squeeze it from her when he was inside her, heightening his climax.

  He was a sick bastard.

  Krista looked back on the things she had endured with shock. She couldn’t believe it took her so long to leave. The fear was a big deterrent to her leaving, sure, but it wasn’t all. It shouldn’t have been enough. Jim had her mind so warped she barely knew up-from-down in the thick of it.

  But still, it was shocking. And she’d only been with him a little over a year! To think, some women endured that for decades!

  Krista cuddled into her blankets. Sean might have run, but he didn’t prey on her weakness. At least there was that.

  ~*~*~*~

  Sean walked the few short blocks home in turmoil. He hadn’t wanted to leave. She had looked so sad and alone. She needed someone.

  He stopped walking, debating. Should he go back?

  Her confession came back to him. The things she’d suffered.

  His fists clenched. If he ever saw that man, he would rip his face off his head. He would hurt that bastard for what he’d done.

  Sean turned back toward Krista. But then what? If he climbed in bed with her, he’d wrap her up in his arms, then he’d strip her down and make love to her. He wouldn’t be able to stop himself. He knew this.

  Sean turned back toward his home. She wouldn’t think it was genuinely from his heart. He couldn’t have that.

  His feet ate the pavement. He didn’t bother ignoring the soft pull in his navel. It wasn’t lust, and it wasn’t sex. She’d worked her way deeper. She’d burrowed down to a place that he was scared to admit existed.

  “Hey,” Cassie said as Sean entered the house. “I’m making lasagna. How is she?”

  Sean collapsed into the barstool at the kitchen island. He shook his head. “She’s had a hard time of it. She’s…fragile.”

  Cassie paused with her hip cocked out and a spoon with red sauce in it out to the side. “But I thought you said she was tough? She looked like shit today, that’s for sure. What’d you do to her last night?”

  “Language,” Sean said automatically, rubbing his temples. “She is tough. She’s had abuse in her past. Not emotional stuff like us—hers was.” His jaw clenched. He shook his head.

  “So…but…that doesn’t explain why she left your house and tried to drown herself in wine.”

  “I didn’t do anything. I didn’t try anything.” He met an accusing stare. Cassie knew every detail of his history, and she never pulled the punches. Besides Ray, she was the one person who kept him honest.

  She cocked an eyebrow.

  “Honest Cass. Not this time. I’ve been good with her. Kept my distance. Tried to keep her comfortable. But…she’s gun shy. She likes me, but she’s afraid of getting hurt.”

  “Smart girl,” Cassie said, turning back to her boiling pot.

  “Yeah,” Sean said dryly. “People keep saying that.”

  Chapter Nine

  Krista got to work the next morning late. She didn’t care. Her head was splitting open and her stomach was threatening to empty its contents all over the floor.

  When her phone started ringing she flinched, “Hello?” She put her head down on her desk.

  “Krista?” It was Sean.

  Krista’s stomach flipped, and then gurgled menacingly. She pulled the garbage can closer just in case. “Oh, hey Sean. What’s up?”

  “Could you come to my office, please? I need to go over an assignment with you.”

  “Sure thing. Be right there.”

  She stared at the phone for a second. She’d sounded half-alive just there. Good stuff.

  She painfully walked to Sean’s office, trying to look normal. She heard a ruckus and saw that the rest of the team was already there, Ben included.

  “Wow, Krista--had a good weekend?” Marcus asked, moving away from her.

  “Overdid it a little,” she admitted to the crowd.

  “You look bad with a capital ‘B’,” Ray said moving closer. He was immediately in dad mode. “Do you feel okay?”

  “I feel like shit, Ray, capital ‘S’. Self-induced, though, so it’s my own fault.”

  “You should have called in with the brown bottle flu, honey!” Marcus said as Judy laughed. Everyone was in great spirits.

  “I think I will save the assignments for tomorrow,” Sean declared with a little heat in his voice.

  Krista spared a moment to feel guilty that she was affecting his job, but only until her stomach gurgled again. She stopped herself from moaning in misery as Ray rubbed her back.

  “I will just say that our two helpers, Jasmine and Kate, have decided to join us. Which you all probably know. Kate will be here in one week and Jasmine in two. They will immediately pick up the slack.”

  “Only one week?” Krista asked from the tabletop. The cool wood felt good on her head.

  “Apparently her boss was leaving in a week, so she decided to jump on board.”

  There was a cheer. Sean smirked, and then looked at Krista. His
smile faltered. “Also, in three weeks we will be all be meeting with our clients, so I will be going over each person’s role. They want to meet the team.”

  “Geegee might just be recovered by then,” Ben said.

  Krista wasn’t in the mood for jokes. Especially since Ben was probably right. She needed a toilet. She was definitely going to throw up soon.

  “Alright, everyone clear out. I wanna talk to our star researcher.” Sean was looking around, but his gaze never far from Krista’s face.

  There were jokes and mirth at that. They all thought Krista would get a talking to. She didn’t really care. There were worse things Sean could say.

  “Ray, close the door, please,” Sean said as he moved to take the seat next to Krista. She was still lying with her face on the table.

  “I am going to take you home,” Sean said as he rested a hand on her back.

  “You know how I said I would tell you if I did something that I didn’t want talked about, and that would make sure my mouth stayed shut on your acting thing?”

  “Yes,” he said quietly.

  “All of yesterday goes in the vault.”

  “Of course, Pet. You didn’t need to say it. Of course I would keep that to myself. Even the part where you were examining whips.”

  Krista opened her eyes. Sean was worriedly looking down at her with her favorite lopsided grin.

  “Why do you call me a pet?” Krista asked, closing her eyes.

  “Not a pet, just…Pet. It’s, ah, an Irish term of endearment.”

  “Oh. Okay, then.” Krista smiled for 0.45 seconds. Then she grimaced. She hurt so bad.

  They were back to their easy plateau. They could probably have tried to kill each other emotionally, got involved, married, cheated on each other, gone through a horrible divorce, and reconvened to this common ground and trust. No matter what happened, they always had this level.

  Krista was grateful for it. She would have cried if she wasn’t trying so hard not to throw up.

  “Now,” he said standing up and putting his hands on the sides of her arms, “time to get you home.”

  “I’m sorry. Kind of a dick move to end up like this on a Monday.”

  “I think you are administering your own punishment. Plus, you are far enough ahead that one day won’t matter. Just don’t die on me.”

  “I think I already did, and this is hell.”

  They reached the elevator as it opened. Out popped John in his usual animated hurry.

  “Hey Sean, just the per--” John noticed Krista.

  “John, I am taking Krista home. She stupidly thought coming in with the flu was a good idea,” Sean said with an eye roll in his voice.

  John took two large steps away, bringing his arms into his chest to ward her away like an evil spirit. “Krista, what are you trying to do? Get everyone sick?” John had venom in his voice.

  “Sorry, I just didn’t want to let the team down by getting behind,” Krista explained weakly. It wasn’t hard to play it up.

  “Sean, get her a laptop. She can work from home.” He turned his attention to Krista without getting any closer.

  “But--”

  “No!” John said, putting his hands up. “No way. I need everyone healthy!” The elevator opened and John stepped further away so Sean could escort Krista in. Since he wanted to talk to Sean, logic said he would get on with them. Instead, he hurriedly went the other direction without a word.

  When the doors closed behind them Sean said, “He is the worst sick guy you will ever meet. He whines, he bitches--he hates it. He absolutely detests being sick.”

  Krista leaned against the wall of the elevator, wishing it had seats. “Nice cover. I think that made up for telling him I called him a Boy Named Sue.”

  Sean snickered as the doors opened again at the garage level. As soon as Krista was in the car she laid back gratefully. She wasn’t much better at being sick than John, even if it was self-induced.

  The day was spent mostly sleeping, so when Krista received the text from Sean about the laptop at about 7:00 p.m., two things were happening. One was that she was looking like the same pile of dog crap as he’d left her, except now she was in pajamas. The second was that Abbey was home from work with her newest squeeze, and was having loud, ridiculous sex.

  Krista opened the door to a tired-looking Sean and a laptop. Unfortunately, she couldn’t muffle the inexcusable screeching and grunting coming from Abbey’s room.

  “Hey,” Sean started before he heard what was going on. “What--?”

  “My roommate. No excuse for her bedroom antics.”

  It sounded like a mating call of wild animals. There were screamed, rhythmic “huh huh huh,” yowls, “YES!”, and, “Fuck me bad boy!” It was a theoretical dark and stormy night when Ben and Krista sat Abbey down and asked her to be quieter; show some consideration for her roommates. They were informed, rather rudely, that she had no control over her pleasure meter. She had to express herself.

  Krista relayed this to Sean as he looked into the house in a state of shock and fascination.

  “So gross!” he laughed as he crossed the threshold around Krista.

  She followed him in and sat on the couch next to him. He put the computer on the coffee table. “How long does this usually last?”

  “Uh...depends, really. Ben and I timed it a couple times and the record seems to be about forty-five, but this is a new dude, so I don’t know how long he can keep it up.”

  “And does she come out of the room after?”

  “Yeah, generally. How did you know? Do you recognize the sounds or something?”

  Krista got a dirty look. “No. But I do find this hilarious. If I was with a woman like that I think I would quit halfway through. I would be too distracted to finish.”

  “I know, right?!” Krista gave him a playful push. “How can guys stand it?”

  “Does she do this every time she has sex?”

  “I am led to believe so.”

  “How do you sleep?” Sean looked at Krista with a boyish gleam in his eyes, probably the same look he would’ve given a slug when he was five. Then there was a shift. It was subtle, but it was there. His eyes took in her plaid pajamas, which were far from sexy, her messy hair, her fuzzy slippers, and his look started to smolder. He let a breath tumble out of his mouth slowly and stood up.

  “You have anything to eat yet?” he asked quietly as he put his hands in his pockets. His playful mood was extinguished.

  Krista blinked in uncertainty at the change. “Um, no. I was just going to think about that, actually. This is the first time I have been up all day.”

  “C’mon. I have to get away from the absurd sex.”

  Instead of the playful banter from a second ago, now it seemed like it was bothering him. If Krista was paranoid, she would think he didn’t want to think of her and sex in the same brain compartment.

  Good thing her paranoia took a back seat to her fuzzy head and empty belly.

  Outside in the fresh, yet cold, air, Krista felt immensely better. The house had been stuffy. Warm, but stuffy. One open window would change the warm part in seconds, so sometimes it was necessary to deal with stuffy. Plus, she’d been too lazy to get out of bed and walk the five feet required to open the window. Might as well have been five miles. A change of scenery was another thing she really needed.

  “Anything interesting happen today?” Krista asked as she followed him into his house.

  “Our date is set in a few weeks with the clients. We are incorporating just the core team--the sales guys, you, Marcus and Judy. The execs don’t want the clients knowing the group working on their campaign is so small.”

  “Yeah, Dell had an army at their command.” Krista couldn’t hide that she was disgruntled by that fact.

  “Afraid of hard work, are we?” he asked as they headed toward the kitchen.

  “Not afraid as much as pissed that we are working so hard with a big account when just a couple months ago the whole company was wo
rking on a different big client.”

  “I could get more help if I wanted to, but so far I’ve refused.”

  “What?” Krista rounded on Sean, who had put his stuff down and gone in the kitchen. “You mean we are doing all this without help because of your ego?”

  Sean looked at her askew, anger barely contained. “It has nothing to do with my ego. My privileges of hiring in are depleted thanks to your friends. From now on I have to use the company staff resources, which are less than adequate. Do you want to do their work all over again? Or fight them on the right way to do a presentation?”

  “Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if you burn out your team, you won’t even have someone to redo work.”

  Sean braced his hands on the counter. His muscles were flexed through his white shirt, his eyes were a dark, muddy green, and his lips were slightly open. He looked like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to shake her or talk rationally.

  He chose reason. “After Friday I am going to meet with John and assess the situation. We are already strategizing on a plan to reorganize the company. Our team has done better work than the company has seen in years, and John and I are going to help the company realize this. If you can hang on for a while longer, I am sure you will benefit from my illustrious, though misplaced, ego.”

  “I don’t think you should be telling me about reorganizing. That is really good gossip...” Krista was poking the beehive jokingly to ease the situation.

  The corners of Sean’s mouth tugged upwards and his eyes sparkled. “Marcus is desperate to learn the gossip on you, you know. You mystify him. You mystify a great many people, in fact. No one can gossip for long about you because no one knows enough about you to do so. Especially now that you are rarely in the break room. Those who do know you have only seen you in a working capacity, with a stellar work ethic at that. I have so far been silent on your strange inner-workings, but a couple sentences from me would turn into great, lasting gossip...”