Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2) Page 7

  Through chattering teeth Krista said, “Warm is good.”

  On their way to the house, as Krista was feeling more like an icicle than a human, she noticed Sean was walking normally, the cold apparently not affecting him. He swam in the ocean often as a surfer, it was true, but he had a wetsuit for that.

  “How are you not cold?” she asked through chattering teeth. They were walking to his house, for which she was thankful. It was closer.

  “I am. But I’m the man. I’m not supposed to show cold.”

  “Do men just sit around and create man-code for stupid things? Is it, like, a one-upper fest when these rules get created? One guy says, ‘A man does not cry.’ And a second guy says, ‘Well, except when at a funeral.’ And the first one says, ‘No, not even then. A man is strong. Only women cry, and women are weak. A man is not weak. He does not cry.’ Then another guy, who probably has a bigger pee-stick, says, ‘Except when drunk. When drunk, a man may cry, but only for the dead, or the lost.’ Then the circle of men nod their head, because that sounds like a good hedge, and enter it into the man log. That about it?”

  They were in Sean’s house at that point. Sean ushered Krista into a dining area just outside the kitchen.

  “You have too much time on your hands,” Sean said, laughing. “But I am cold, so please excuse me.”

  She didn’t realize that was his introduction to strip down to his boxer briefs.

  She looked away quickly when her groin gave a worrying lurch. She remembered those big, muscular shoulders and torso, but she hadn’t seen it tuck down into those trim hips and then explode into two powerfully built legs. He was spectacular. And he was nearly naked. Two steps. Two steps away, then she could actually touch him. It was too close.

  She needed to go home.

  “Oh holy moly,” she muttered as she accidentally looked down that body, past the beginning of his fire-engine red boxer briefs, to his sizable package. It was cold, it should have been small—right? Wasn’t that how it worked?

  Sean looked at her when she spoke, saw her looking at him like a man-eating lion, and got beet red.

  “You must not do that, Daniel-san,” Krista said, turning away sheepishly. “I have been without for too long.”

  “I thought you had a booty call to ease your…tension?” Sean said as clothes rustled.

  “I cut him loose. It felt wrong. Then it felt really wrong when he said he loved me.”

  “Hmmm.”

  “Don’t ‘hmmm’ me. I was up-front the whole time. From day one. And I reminded him periodically.”

  “I always did, too. You know, when I was in my womanizing days?” He paused to let the allegation sink in. “And you never caught on that he had feelings for you?”

  “No! Absolutely not. Not really. I always thought he was on the same page. Mostly.”

  “I always thought so, too. Mostly.”

  Krista turned around in anger, “What—“

  Sean was butt naked. He was grabbing a pair of sweats, confident that she wouldn’t peek.

  There was no problem with shrinkage. His very large man parts were in full view. Krista flinched, then squeaked, then turned around again, hoping he didn’t notice.

  “Peeping Tom.”

  “If you don’t want me to peek, don’t rile me up! Or change in your room! Back to the topic at hand, what guy wouldn’t be happy in that situation? Men are always saying that is the ideal situation! I have been dumped for that reason. More than once!”

  “Ideal for twenty-one-year-old men, maybe. But you are a catch. The guy probably thought you would come around.”

  “I don’t know about catch, but yeah, that’s what he thought. His own fault.”

  “My line every time.”

  “Can I turn around now?”

  “You haven’t already?”

  Krista turned to see him looking at her with a knowing smile. She narrowed her eyes and balled her fists. “I was completely up front about it! Completely up front. The whole time! How is that my fault?”

  “The same way it’s my fault when I do the same thing. At least, so you would have me believe. A certain label you affix me with comes to mind.”

  “Everyone puts that label on you!” It was out before she realized it. Pain flashed across his face. He didn’t try to cover it up.

  “I know,” he said quietly, and tossed her a pair of sweats and a shirt.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that,” she took off her sopping wet shirt.

  “I know people say it. And once, not very long ago, it was true.”

  Not thinking, she stripped out of her sweats and down to her panties, which were lots bigger than her bathing suit—she had to do laundry—so she wasn’t concerned about exposure. Just a little embarrassed about Granny-Panties.

  “I haven’t been with Monica since that one night,” Sean admitted. “I could have been. Guilt free, I could have. But I didn’t.” He turned around, giving her a chance to change.

  She thought about going to the bathroom; privacy would have been best obviously. The only thing was, she didn’t want to pause this conversation. Also, she was freezing her ass off. So she quickly stripped out of her wet clothes, like a fool, and tried to get into his sweats before he turned and caught her naked.

  “Why did you stop seeing her?” Krista asked, quickly turning the sweats right-side out. Evidently she should have checked the merchandise before she went and stripped down to bare skin.

  “Wait, no under-roos? I have to free-ball it?” She muttered to herself, eyeing the giant sweats made for a monster, and a shirt the same size. She might as well flash him right then because in his clothes she’d flash him all over the place anyway. She wouldn’t even have to bend over to do it!

  “Here,” Sean said, walking into the other room and tossing her a pair of whitey-tighties.

  Krista hadn’t realized he’d left. She’d been too busy frantically turning the sweats inside-out to put them on.

  As she caught the briefs she caught his eye. He raked his eyes down her naked body, and then winked at her. Apparently fair was fair.

  She gave him the stink eye from behind a hastily made shield of fabric before he disappeared down a side hall.

  “Same reason you stopped calling Paul. Someone always gets hurt,” he called from a different room.

  “I doubt Monica would have been hurt. She doesn’t seem like the type. Lacking human emotion, that one.”

  After a pause he said, “She isn’t. But you would’ve been.”

  “I …” Krista’s stomach clenched as she realized what he said. What was worse, it was true. She couldn’t deny it.

  Even worse still, he knew. And if he read that about her, what else had he ferreted out?

  “Okay, well, yes maybe, but only because she was gross, and you could do better.”

  He just laughed as he re-entered the room with a dirty mug. Even though she was in his clothes, which were too big, and braless, he didn’t look her over again. He passed on the way to the kitchen, cleaning up. She might as well have been a plant.

  The formal dining room led into the kitchen, which was separated by a long counter with bar stools. In the spacious kitchen was another, small table, probably for quick meals. The room had granite counter tops, the latest appliances, and was recently remodeled. The dining room had a china cabinet with a few pieces of china and some plates, but was mostly bare. It was largely a bachelor pad. There was a wine rack, mostly empty, which was a travesty.

  There was a hallway that must have led to the rest of the house, and the hallway from whence they came that joined this room with the entryway. She wandered down the path not taken toward the living room and saw large, overstuffed couches and a huge TV. Off the living room was a huge bay window that had the curtains drawn. She opened them, and as she thought, there was the expanse of ocean, as far as the eye could see. Now it was just a black area without lights, but she could imagine seeing the waves crash and the azure blue of limitless water.
>
  What a view.

  “Same view from my bedroom, only better,” Sean said from right behind her.

  Krista turned slowly, goose pimples erupting all over her flesh. Sean just looked at her, apparently content to see her in his clothing.

  “I would let you show me, but I have already lost my knickers and am afraid to go up against your strength as a salesman,” Krista said nervously.

  After a pause, quietly he said, “Wise.”

  They looked at each other for a beat. He was about two feet away, eyes steadily holding hers.

  Into the din, she said, “I’m sorry about what I said earlier. It wasn’t nice and it wasn’t fair.”

  He continued to look down at her in silence. She thought he might step closer. He thought she might step closer to him. But neither of them moved. It was hard to say why, because both of them wanted to, but now there was a great divide, and neither knew the safest way to cross, or even if they wanted to, unsure what lay on the other side.

  They also realized it would be a huge mistake. They knew each other too well for a purely physical relationship, but not enough for anything substantial. Not yet. Nothing ruined friendship, or a working relationship, like sex. Someone always fell…and in that, Krista had the track record, though Sean suspected it might be him this time because he was already heading down that road head first. He’d already been rejected once, though, he didn’t want it to happen a second time.

  Finally Sean let out a breath, and held out some menus. “What’s for dinner?”

  It was a Saturday, and Krista found her dumb ass in the stupid office trying to finish up some last minute things that she didn’t have the heart to stay late and do on Friday. There was just something wrong with working late on a Friday. Friday is the best office day of the week. You couldn’t spoil that by working all night!

  The floor was as quiet as death as she trudged her way to her office. She dropped all her stuff and turned on her computer, just like she might on a Monday. It was thoroughly depressing.

  She, like the rest of the team, was utterly pooped after the last week. They had worked their asses off for this new client. And while the client was grateful and impressed with the quality of the work, the creativity of design, and the thoroughness of the information, the contract was for a great deal of money, and they should get every penny out of Sean’s team.

  She worked her way through a couple emails and finished up the latest report for Sean. It was then that she noticed a new email. From Sean. He was in the office!

  Strangely, her palms got clammy and her heart raced. She finished what she was working on and decided she might as well be friendly and say hi. He was her Captain after all.

  She was walking on air as she made her way to his office. She was eager and anxious and nervous all at the same time. Her heart was racing and the butterflies in her stomach were going wild. She had no idea why getting Sean alone in the office was playing hell on her nerves, but she couldn’t erase the excited smile from her face.

  She saw him through his office window as she walked up. The movement must have caught his eye because he glanced up, caught sight of her, and lifted his head. Was that pleasure on his face? Maybe he was as happy to see her as she was him?

  “Hey Cap’n-my-Cap’n,” she said as she leaned in the doorway.

  He was wearing a white T-shirt that was a little snug across his shoulders and a little loose around his waist. He looked like he just rolled out of bed, the scruff on his face and messy hair made him look like a Calvin Klein model. He smelled distinctly of crisp ocean. He’d probably gone for an early surf. It filled the whole office. No cologne that morning, it was all Sean.

  “Hi Geegee. It’s nice to see you,” he said with a smile that lit up his whole face.

  Krista beamed. It was amazing what a ridiculously gorgeous guy smiling could do to a mood.

  “I was depressed being here on a Saturday alone. It’s nice to have company,” he continued.

  “Yeah, I had a couple things to do before Monday.”

  “I didn’t see you last night. Hot date?” Was that tinged with worry? Or, more realistically, was her imagination starting to get a little overbearing?

  “No, I didn’t want to work late on a Friday. It’s less depressing to come in at your leisure on a Saturday.”

  “True. Any big plans for the weekend? What’s left of it, anyway?”

  “I’m supposed to go to the Folsom Street Fair tomorrow with the girls.”

  Surprise flitted across his face, and then humor, “Right. And you’ve never been?”

  “Nope. It’s only once a year, I think.”

  “Yes. Did they tell you what to expect?”

  “Just that’s it’s a street fair with a bunch of gay guys.”

  “Lots of gay guys. Lots and lots.”

  “Well, the city has lots of gay guys, so it won’t be that big of a deal. Probably really artsy and girly, right?”

  “Uh...sure.” The way he said it, Krista knew he was making fun of her somehow. Poor Seattle girl in the world of San Francisco. She rolled her eyes and he laughed.

  “So…I heard about Mr. IT Manager, Jacob…” Krista said, letting the end of her sentence trail into the air.

  Sean looked at her with a blank face. “Yes, he resigned.”

  “After someone went to the bigwigs with a bunch of allegations, yeah. I wonder who was responsible for that…”

  The corner of Sean’s lips quirked, “I’m sure that whatever was found was exactly what needed to be brought to light.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “I’m also sure that a great many of the female staff are pleased to see the back of him.”

  “Oh yeah! Even Jasmine. She’d gotten a cyber-shadow there for a minute. And a bodily one. He kept popping up on her randomly. Totally creeped her out. She said to say, ‘Thanks,’ by the way.”

  “I don’t know why she’d say it to me.”

  “This is a strange side of you.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Modesty.”

  Sean erupted in laughter. Krista stared awestruck, letting his eyes find hers again, and falling in. She wanted to go to him. Just get up, walk the few feet around the desk, and sit in his lap.

  “Right, well,” she said quietly. “I’d better finish up.”

  He pulled his eyes away and cleared his throat.

  “You doing anything tonight?” he asked with friendly indifference.

  She took a deep breath, trying to bat down her lady erection. “Nope. Well, work out probably, but nothing all that interesting. You?”

  “No. Did you want to work out together? I have another couple hours to do, but I could meet you on the beach?”

  She couldn’t help the pleased smile. She wasn’t holding her cards all that closely to her chest. “Cool. I have a couple hours, too. Want to just come and get me when you’re ready?”

  “Deal,” he winked, then looked back to his computer.

  Krista was literally hovering back to her desk. Once there, she tried with every ounce of her being to focus on her work, and not his naked body, and it nearly worked.

  Chapter Six

  “You have a great voice.”

  Sean watched in humor as Krista jumped and spilled her coffee all over her desk.

  “Don’t do that!” she said as she clutched at her chest. “I think I had a mini-heart attack just there.”

  Smiling, Sean entered the room with an easy stride, “Sorry. I was admiring your singing voice.”

  Sean noticed that as Krista sponged up her desk, she kept her head down so he couldn’t see her turning red. “It is better than the British accent, yes.”

  “I’ve heard. You were in the middle of something—sorry to interrupt.”

  Krista shook out the soggy page of Marcus’s idea. “I was trying to interpret Marcus. Ben couldn’t do it. Looks like I couldn’t, either.”

  “Lemme see,” Sean sat in a chair as Krista handed over the still-dripping
page.

  As Krista cleaned up the rest of her desk, he analyzed the half-page of notes. The ideas were written in a messy scrawl, barely contained within the lines. It looked like a kid in grade-school was learning to write. He shook his head slowly, “It seems like something to do with celebrities, but I can’t work out what.”

  “Celebrities?” Krista asked, straightening up and reaching for the page.

  Sean handed it back, noticing that coffee splashed across her white shirt, turning the material a brown-opaque. He could just make out a purple, lacy bra holding up her perky, round breasts. He got uncomfortable immediately, shifting to try and ease tightness in his pants.

  It wasn’t working.

  “Can that wait?” Sean asked, standing up. He needed to walk it out.

  “Huh?” she stood up, still analyzing the page. “Uh…” She glanced up, and then did a double-take. Her eyes slid down his body and paused on his groin. She sunk into an unconscious, slinky pose that had Sean taking a step forward. He needed an interruption. He needed someone else on this floor to barge in. He needed it now.

  “Yes,” she said in a throaty voice.

  Sean took another step forward, unable to stop himself.

  “We should go,” she said softly.

  Sean nodded, trying not to step forward again, and failing. He was right in front of her now, inches away. She angled her head up to him, her lips parted, her chest heaving. He put a hand on the top of her neck, and with his thumb, pushed her chin up a little higher. All he had to do now was bend down and claim her.

  “We should go,” she whispered, her eyes on his lips.

  She was right. This was not the way to do it, not with her. She was too logical to allow her first move to be inspired solely by passion. She’d balk, then run, making his eventual success harder. But God, he needed it. He needed her so bad it was physically painful.

  Sean’s eyes were trained on her lips, they were breathing the same air. Her small hand touched his chest, lightly pushing. He didn’t yield, combusting with her heat.

  Just as he was deciding to go for it, he felt a second hand on his chest, pushing harder now; a forceful block. His eyes roamed her face, only then noticing her lips were closed in a bloodless line and her eyes were wide with fear.